ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
