Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize