Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
