I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
