i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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