I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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