Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
