As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
