i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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