At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
