That's when you crack a 10am beer
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
