I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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