Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize