Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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