i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
