haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
