so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
