You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
