she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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