I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
