Will you blow on my dice?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
