I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
