Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
