you guys were way drunker than both of me
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize