I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
