Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
