no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
