dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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