and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
