I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
