what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
