i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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