How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
