dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
