So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
