It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
