You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
