as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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