I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
