So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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