yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
