I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
