remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
