I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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