Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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