Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
is this the sara with the beer cane?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
