Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You are the jesus of drinking
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
