New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Your cock deserves a montage
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
