he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
