just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You're a waste of cheezeits
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
