Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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