i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
