I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize