When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
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