my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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