If that was your dad, he is hot
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
