Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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