I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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