Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
