is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize