I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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