So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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