Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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