we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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