I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
