Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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