I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
