All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
